Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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