is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
