last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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