am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
