Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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