I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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