You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
