is your mom at the bar?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
