Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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