You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
