All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
