i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
