ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize