If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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