brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
