I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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