She is in my trunk
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize