I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
