My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just want to make out with him forever
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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