i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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