I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
