i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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