She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
