its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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