dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
