holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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