dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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