Kiss
Puke
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
