Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
