I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize