Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
