he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
