My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
