i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
