I should be sponsored by Trojan
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
