she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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