dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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