I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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