NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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