sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
