Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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