but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
