did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
