Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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