YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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