Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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