I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
