she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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