im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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