Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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