whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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