I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize