I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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