I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
