Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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