Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We need to rekindle our bromance
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
