Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
