There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
