I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
