Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
