is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
