she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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