the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
