i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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