I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
