batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it's like iHOP with fire
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
