I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
North Korea, Best Korea!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
