I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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