I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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