i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
