when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
