I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
