So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
